Isolation - the experience of a three year old

 

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2005 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

 
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The first conscious mystical experience occurred at age three. It served to set the stage for the entire journey and the realization that would take years to consciously understand and to perfect. The experience imprinted the awareness of a feeling that become key to understanding what needs to be created for our creative spirit to freely unfold.

The event arose because he had a fever that would not go down. So, the doctors in their wisdom, put him in isolation in the hospital. He was separated from every one except the few nurses who served the isolation ward. He remembers one nurse holding him trying to comfort his crying and intense loneliness he was experiencing. He was told they called for his mother but she never came - or at that is what he thought. In reality, it didn’t matter if she came or not. He was in isolation and she was have been kept from her no matter how much he called for her or cried. He always figured he was told his mother was called so that he would relax and go to sleep. Although there are only a few conscious memories of that experience, there was one profound memory. The memory was of viewing the room from the corner up near the ceiling looking down into the room.

In time, he was released from isolation not because his fever dropped. Rather, he had chose to stop eating. It was not that he could not eat but he refused to eat. As a three year old he decided to commit suicide in one of the few ways he knew how and could do at that age. The doctors become worried. Their response was to remove him from isolation and allowed him to be with his mother. It was only many, many years later did he realized there is only one way he could have the view of the hospital room that held him. He had left his body and had chosen to die rather than live in isolation from his mother and his family. Yet, he could not leave. There were things for him here to do and he had to stay. In essence he was told to go back and endure until the time was ripe. How he was told when that time would be and how he protected his creative spirit during that time are other stories.  He endured by suppressing what he knew and did what he was told and/or as expected to do for over forty years.

What was clear from this experience, but only realized at the end of the journey exploring creativity after the professional path and the mystical path came back together, was the need for the nurturing feminine creative energy of Creation. Not female energy for female energy was available. Nor was it necessarily the energy of his natural mother for in the end that energy was also available. Rather it was the energy that is needed for a creation to grow and unfold true to its nature. A nurturing creative feminine energy was needed - one that would nourish his creative spirit in the way it needed to be nourished - not in the way mind wanted to nourish it or how mind thought it should nourish it.

When the maternal energy was also withdrawn, it was too much for the child. The child sought to withdraw from life. When the maternal energy was restored and given the conditions that existed, he subsequently learned to survive in life by keeping a part of his creative spirit dormant or suppressed for that part of his being was never nurtured in the way it needed to be nurtured. This was necessary so he would not feel the pain of lacking that needed nourishing energy until conditions were created where it could awaken and come out.

It was the lack of this nurturing creative feminine energy for his creative spirit that gave rise to the two paths of his life. Yet, the separation was necessary for him to gain the experience he needed to have in this life. Those in his life did the best they could for what they were given. Female energy and maternal energy was available. What was needed was another form of energy. It was the energy he needed for his creative spirit to unfold true to itself not an energy colored or filtered by the expectations of mind - his mind or the mind of any other. It could not be give for others did not have it available to give and the did not know of is existence.

As this three year old child, he perceived he was separated from the feminine nurturing energy as he understood it and needed to grow. The separation was so intense, he would choose to die rather than remain without that needed energy he perceived as being in, or from, his mother. Only years latter did he come to the realization of how important the feminine nurturing energy is to any creative effort. Without that energy, the creative effort will die. Insufficient nurturing creative energy will cause growth to be stunted in someway.

The understanding about the nurturing feminine creative energy that nurtures a creative effort eventually became key to the power that lies within the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity technology. Although consciously he was not aware of what he lacked, the experience imprinted him with a feeling of that lack. The awareness of that feeling with a conscious mind allowed him to see what was lacking in his life and what he needed to do to address his own creative spirit. However, the feeling also became the source of a very deep empathy for the lives of the people he met. It was the awareness of that feeling that allowed him to create the critical mass of conditions that allowed for the Ultimate Accident and to create the space for a creative spirit to be free to come out and express itself which combined to create an experiential realization of the Oneness/oneness of Creation. In a moment, he saw the Source of Creation and how it fully manifested Itself in all of Creation. Overlaid with the experience of “The Unfolding Flower” that imprinted feeling also became key to understanding at to how to nurture the creative spirit of another.

In attempting to express the understanding of nurturing feminine creative energy of Creation and what it means, it can be summarized as follows. For a creation to manifest and unfold true to itself, someone needs to a safe space for that creation to grow. For the creative spirit within an individual that gives the individual life and nourishes their life to be free to come out and fully express itself true to its nature, there needs to be someone to hold a safe space and call forth that creative spirit. To hold a safe space is to (1) give not what one thinks the creation/creative spirit needs but what the creation/creative spirit requires for that creation/creative spirit to be nourished and (2) provide a safe and secure space so the creation/creative spirit is not threatened or thwarted as it flows and unfolds when it comes out. Creating the space for a creation or another’s creative spirit is not something to be taken lightly. Nor is it necessarily easy to do. It will be demanding and a challenge to one’s creative ability. One will have to become a shape shift or shift their shape to accommodate the needs of the creation or the creative spirit, which every the individual seeks to manifest.

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